Drunk Princess

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Cosmic Plushie.png
Cosmic Plushie.png
Developer
This NPC is dedicated to: MountainDrew/Fabsol
Drunk Princess
Drunk Princess.png
Statistics
TypeNPC
EnvironmentValid house
AI TypePassive AI
Max Life20,000
Defense15
KB Resist50%
Drunk Princess map.png
Map Icon
Archmage.png
This is a Town NPC. A House may be required in order for it to appear.
Not to be confused with the Princess, a vanilla NPC.

The Drunk Princess is an NPC vendor that sells Alcohol depending on the player's progression, she also has the unique ability to count the number of times the player has died in the world.

The Drunk Princess will spawn once the following conditions have been met:

  • There is an empty house.
  • A player in the world has Fabsol's Vodka in their inventory.
  • The world is in Hardmode.

When threatened by enemies, she will defend herself with a ray of light that functions similarly to the Fabstaff.

Items sold[edit | edit source]

Inventory

Item Cost Availability
Grape BeerGrape Beer 1 Gold Coin Always available.
Red WineRed Wine 3 Gold Coin Always available.
WhiskeyWhiskey 5 Gold Coin Always available.
TequilaTequila 7 Gold Coin.png 50 Silver Coin.png Always available.
RumRum 7 Gold Coin.png 50 Silver Coin.png Always available.
FireballFireball 10 Gold Coin Always available.
Fabsol's VodkaFabsol's Vodka 15 Gold Coin Always available.
VodkaVodka 5 Gold Coin After defeating all Mechanical Bosses.
ScrewdriverScrewdriver 25 Gold Coin After defeating all Mechanical Bosses.
White WineWhite Wine 25 Gold Coin After defeating all Mechanical Bosses.
Evergreen GinEvergreen Gin 25 Gold Coin After defeating Plantera.
Caribbean RumCaribbean Rum 30 Gold Coin After defeating Plantera.
MargaritaMargarita 35 Gold Coin After defeating Plantera.
EverclearEverclear 10 Gold Coin After defeating Astrum Aureus
Bloody MaryBloody Mary 15 Gold Coin During a Blood Moon if Astrum Aureus has been defeated
Star Beam RyeStar Beam Rye 20 Gold Coin During the night if Astrum Aureus has been defeated.
MoonshineMoonshine 5 Gold Coin After defeating Golem.
Moscow MuleMoscow Mule 25 Gold Coin After defeating Golem.
Cinnamon RollCinnamon Roll 25 Gold Coin After defeating Golem.
Tequila SunriseTequila Sunrise 30 Gold Coin After defeating Golem.
Weightless CandleWeightless Candle 2 Platinum Coin Always available.
Vigorous CandleVigorous Candle 2 Platinum Coin Always available.
Resilient CandleResilient Candle 2 Platinum Coin Always available.
Spiteful CandleSpiteful Candle 2 Platinum Coin Always available.
Odd MushroomOdd Mushroom 3 Platinum Coin Always available.

Names[edit | edit source]

  • The Drunk Princess will always be named Cirrus.

Quotes[edit | edit source]

While homeless:

  • "I could smell my vodka from MILES away!"
  • "Have any spare rooms available? Preferably candle-lit with a hefty supply of booze."

Anytime:

  • "Drink something that turns you into a magical flying unicorn so you can be super gay."
  • "Did anyone ever tell you that large assets cause back pain? Well, they were right."
  • "Hey [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], and [name of Patreon donor]! You're all pretty good! ...wait, who are you?"

During the Day:

  • "Like I always say, when you're drunk you can put up with a lot more."
  • "I'm literally balls drunk off my sass right now."
  • "I'm either laughing because I'm drunk or because I've lost my mind. Probably both."
  • "When I'm drunk I'm way happier...at least until the talking worms start to appear."
  • "I should reprogram the whole game while drunk and send it back to the testers."
  • "What a great day, might just drink so much that I get poisoned again."

During the Night:

  • "Now I want to get alcohol, first drinks are on me!"
  • "Here's a challenge...take a drink whenever you take a hit. Oh wait, you'd die."
  • "Well I was planning to light some candles in order to relax...ah well, time to program while drunk."
  • "Yes, everyone knows the mechworm is buggy."
  • "That's west, [Name of Player]. You're fired again."
  • "Are you sure you're 21? ...alright, fine, but don't tell anyone I sold you this."

During a Blood Moon:

  • "Hey! Nice night. I'm gonna make some Bloody Marys. Celery included. Want one?"
  • "More blood for the blood gods!"
  • "Everyone else is so rude tonight. If they don't get over it soon I'll break down their doors and make them!"
  • "Being drunk I have no moral compass atm." (Damages the player for half their health)

During a Party:

  • "You'll always find me at parties where booze is involved...well, you'll always find booze where I'm involved."

During the Acid Rain:

  • "There's chemicals in the water...and it's turning the frogs gay!"

During Martian Madness:

  • "Shoot down the space invaders! Sexy time will be postponed if we are invaded by UFOs!"

During the Boss Rush:

  • "We expect you to turn in a perfect performance!"

If any boss is active:

  • "Nothard/10, if I fight bosses I wanna feel like screaming 'OH YES DADDY!' while I die repeatedly."

If Cryogen has been defeated:

  • "God I can't wait to beat on some ice again!"

If Leviathan has been defeated:

  • "Only things I am attracted to are fish women, women, men who look like women, and that's it."

If Polterghast has been defeated:

  • "I saw a ghost down by the old train tracks once flailing wildly at the lily pads, those were the days."

If The Devourer of Gods has been defeated:

  • "I hear it's amazing when the famous purple-stuffed worm out in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri rock. I need scissors! 61!"

If Tavernkeep is present:

  • "Tell [Name of Tavernkeep] to stop calling me. He’s not wanted."
  • "My booze will always be better than [Name of Tavernkeep]'s and nobody can convince me otherwise."

If Stylist is present:

  • "You still can't stop me from selling alcohol and trying to move in with [Name of Stylist]"
  • "I love it when [Name of Stylist]'s hands get sticky from all that...wax."
  • "[Name of Stylist] works wonders for my hair...among other things."

If Dryad is present:

  • "[Name of Dryad] is cool too but she'd outlive me."

If Archmage is present:

  • "I never realized how well-endowed [Name of Archmage] was. It had to be the largest icicle I had ever seen."

If Moon Lord has been defeated:

  • "I'll always be watching."
  • "Why did one creature need that many tentacles? ...actually, don't answer that."

If the player has the Fab debuff:

  • "Oh yeah now you're drinking the good stuff! Do you like it? I created the recipe by mixing fairy dust, crystals, and other magical crap."

If the player is riding the Alicorn mount:

  • "...so, you're riding me huh? That's not weird at all."
  • "Are you coming on to me?"
  • "If I was a magical horse, I'd be out in space, swirling cocktails, as I watch space worms battle for my enjoyment."

If the player has the Chibii Devourer equipped:

  • "Is that a toy? Looks like something I'd carry around if I was 5 years old."

If the player has the Aquatic Heart equipped:

  • "Nice...scales...did it get hot in here?"

When selecting Death Count:

  • "You have failed [Number of Deaths] time(s)."

Notes[edit | edit source]

  • The amount of damage dealt by Drunk Princess's slap is at least 20.
  • The Discount Card and other items that grant a similar effect will not reduce the prices of any items sold by the Drunk Princess.
  • The price of all items sold by The Drunk Princess are increased.
    • The cost of all drinks are increased by 50%
    • The cost of all candles are increased by 300%
    • The cost of odd mushroom is increased by 200%
  • The displayed sell value of all items sold by the Drunk Princess are false due to her increased sell prices.
    • The sell price of all drinks are decreased from 20% of the buy price to 13.34%
    • The sell price of all candles are decreased from 20% of the buy price to 5%
    • The sell price of odd mushroom are decreased from 20% of the buy price to 6.67%

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The Drunk Princess is a self-insertion of the owner of the mod, also known as Cirrus, Fabsol or MountainDrew, who has been known to get drunk a lot on several occasions.
  • The Drunk Princess has only one possible name, sharing this trait with Santa Claus, the Sea King, and the Archmage.
  • The quote about reprogramming the whole game while drunk is a fourth-wall-breaking quote, implying the creator of the mod getting drunk and sending a broken mod to the beta testers of the mod.
  • The quote about the buggy mechworm is a reference to the bugs caused by Staff of the Mechworm being frequently reported by the community.
  • The quote about blood for the blood gods is a reference to the game Warhammer 40,000.
  • The quote about chemicals in the water is a reference to the American radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones.
  • The quote about it being west and the player getting fired is a reference to Spongebob Squarepants.
  • The quote about the Hara-kiri rock and scissors as well as space invaders reference to the lines spoken by the Colonel in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
  • The Drunk Princess is most likely a lesbian, as evidenced by her attraction to the Stylist, the player if wearing an Aquatic Heart, and her post-Leviathan quote; or bisexual, considering her implied sexual encounter with the Archmage.
  • The "Talking Worms" quote is a reference to The Devourer of Gods, as during the boss fight, it repeatedly talks to the player.
  • In the mod's source files, the Drunk Princess is referred to as 'FAP'.
  • In one of her quotes, the Drunk Princess says the names of several people who have donated a certain amount to the Calamity Mod on Patreon, randomly selected. The list of all possible names are as follows:
  • Vorbis, SoloMael, Chaotic Reks, The Buildmonger, YuH, Littlepiggy, LompL, Lilith Saintclaire, Ben Shapiro, Frederik Henschel, Faye, Gibb50, Braden Hajer, Hannes Holmlund, profoundmango69, Jack M Sargent, Hans Volter, Krankwagon, MishiroUsui, pixlgray, Arkhine, Lodude, DevAesthetic, Mister Winchester, Zacky, Veine, Javyz, Shifter, Crysthamyr, Elfinlocks, Ein, 2Larry2, Jenonen, Dodu, Arti, Tervastator, Luis Arguello, Alexander Davis, BakaQing, Laura Coonrod, Xaphlactus, MajinBagel, Bendy, Rando Calrissian, Tails the Fox 92, Bread, Minty Candy, Preston Card, MovingTarget_086, Shiro, Chip, Taylor Riverpaw, ShotgunAngel, Sandblast, ThomasThePencil, Aero (Aero#4599), GlitchOut, Daawnz, CrabBar, Yatagarasu, Jarod Isaac Gordon, Zombieh, MingWhy, Random Weeb, Ahmed Fahad Zamel Al Sharif, Eragon3942, TheBlackHand, william, Samuel Foreman, Christopher Pham, DemoN K!ng, Malik Ciaramella, Ryan Baker-Ortiz, Aleksanders Denisovs, TheSilverGhost, Lucazii, Shay, Prism, BobIsNotMyRealName, Guwahavel, Azura, Joshua Miranda, Doveda, William Chang, Arche, DevilSunrise, Yanmei, Chaos, Ryan Tucker, Fish Repairs, Melvin Brouwers, Vroomy Has -3000 IQ, The Goliath, DaPyRo, Termi, Circuit-Jay, Commmander Frostbite, cytokat, Cameron Fowlks, Orudeon, BumbleDoge, John Ballard, Naglfar, Helixas, Vetus Dea, High Charity, Devonte Plati, Cerberus, Brendan Kendall, Victor Pittman, KAT-G307, Tombarry Expresserino, Drip Veezy, Glaid, Apotheosis, Bladesaber, Devon Leigh, Ruthoranium, cocodezi_, Mendzey, GameRDheAsianSandwich, Tobias, Streakist ., Eisaya A Cook, Xenocrona, RKMoon